The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of
misplaced expectations. This is especially true when it comes to our
relationships and interactions with others.
Tempering your expectations of other people will greatly reduce
unnecessary frustration and suffering, in both your life and theirs, and
help you refocus on the things that truly matter.
Which means it’s time to…
1. Stop expecting them to agree with you.
You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live a life you are excited
about. Don’t let the opinions of others make you forget that. You are
not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should
you feel that others are here to live up to yours. In fact, the more
you approve of your own decisions in life, the less approval you need
from everyone else.
You have to dare to be yourself, and follow you own intuition,
however frightening or strange that may feel or prove to be. Don’t
compare yourself to others. Don’t get discouraged by their progress or
success. Follow your own path and stay true to your own purpose. Success is ultimately about spending your life happily in your own way.
2. Stop expecting them to respect you more than you respect yourself.
True strength is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles. It’s about
having faith and trust in who you are, and a willingness to act upon
it. Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect,
and attention that you should be showing yourself.
Today, look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you, and from
now on I’m going to act like it.” It’s important to be nice to others,
but it’s even more important to be nice to yourself. When you practice
self-love and self-respect, you give yourself the opportunity to be
happy. When you are happy, you become a better friend, a better family
member, and a better YOU.
3. Stop expecting (and needing) them to like you.
You might feel unwanted and unworthy to one person, but you are
priceless to another. Don’t ever forget your worth. Spend time with
those who value you. No matter how good you are to people, there will
always be one negative person who criticizes you. Smile, ignore them,
and carry on.
In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, the
toughest battle you’ll ever have to fight is the battle to be
yourself. And as you’re fighting back, not everyone will like you.
Sometimes people will call you names because you’re “different.” But
that’s perfectly OK. The things that make you different are the things
that make YOU, and the right people will love you for it.
4. Stop expecting them to fit your idea of who they are.
Loving and respecting others means allowing them to be themselves.
When you stop expecting people to be a certain way, you can begin to
appreciate THEM.
Pay close attention, and respect people for who they are and not for
who you want them to be. We don’t know most people half as well as we
believe we do; and truly knowing someone is a big part of what makes
them wonderful. Every human being is remarkable and beautiful; it just
takes a patient set of eyes to see it. The more you get to know
someone, the more you will be able to look beyond their appearance and
see the beauty of who they truly are.
5. Stop expecting them to know what you’re thinking.
People can’t read minds. They will never know how you feel unless
you tell them. Your boss? Yeah, he doesn’t know you’re hoping for a
promotion because you haven’t told him yet. That cute guy you haven’t
talked to because you’re too shy? Yeah, you guessed it, he hasn’t given
you the time of day simply because you haven’t given him the time of
day either.
In life, you have to communicate with others regularly and
effectively. And often, you have to open your vocal cords and speak the
first words. You have to tell people what you’re thinking. It’s as
simple as that.
6. Stop expecting them to suddenly change.
If there’s a specific behavior someone you care about has that you’re
hoping disappears over time, it probably won’t. If you really need
them to change something, be honest and put all the cards on the table
so this person knows how you feel and what you need them to do.
For the most part though, you can’t change people and you shouldn’t
try. Either you accept who they are or you choose to live without
them. It’s might sound harsh, but it’s not. When you try to change
people, they often remain the same, but when you don’t try to change
them – when you support them and allow them the freedom to be as they
are – they gradually change in the most beautiful way. Because what
really changes is the way you see them.
7. Stop expecting them to be “OK.”
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind
of battle, just like you. Every smile or sign of strength hides an
inner struggle every bit as complex and extraordinary as your own.
Remember that embracing your light doesn’t mean ignoring your dark. We are measured by our ability to overcome adversities and insecurities,
not avoid them. Supporting, sharing and making contributions to other
people is one of life’s greatest rewards. This happens naturally if we
allow it, because we all share very similar dreams, needs and
struggles. Once we accept this, the world then is a place where we can
look someone else in the eye and say, “I’m lost and struggling at the
moment,” and they can nod and say, “Me too,” and that’s OK. Because not
being “OK” all the time, is perfectly OK.
Leave a comment below and share your thoughts!!
